CONNIE’S EULOGY
Tuesday 1st July, 2008. Harbour City Funeral Services, Onepu Road, Kilbirnie, Wellington.
A BLACK DAY…………
Wednesday the 25th June, was a black day.
I was driving back just after 5.00pm from Porirua when a storm struck.
The sky and road turned jet black and I was being dazzled by cars from front and rear.
Nausea was overcoming me but I could not see anywhere to stop as it was like driving blind.
My cellphone rang for a long time and I struggled to get it out of the leather pouch. I could not talk anyway as it would have diverted my attention from driving and this was one time I thought I was not going to make it home safe.
I threw it on the passenger seat wondering who was trying so hard to contact me.
I did get home almost miraculously and I sat in the car to get my breath and senses back.
I picked up the cell phone and hit the reply button thinking it was my son wanting a lift back from town.
He would have to catch a bus I thought as I could not drive another foot.
There were strange voices on the phone like lines were crossed then a woman answered.
“Who is speaking..??’ I asked tersely.
“It’s me..June..” came the reply.
She was at the A&E in Wellington and then she dropped the bombshell that made the day even blacker.
“ Connie has passed away..”
I was stunned and could not speak for some time.
June gave me further details which eluded me at the moment but I went into the house and saw 8 messages on the answerphone and some on the email and I moved in a mechanical manner to check them.
Most were of Connie’s declining status.
The finality of death gives you a helpless and depleted feeling especially the shock of it happening so quickly.
Soon Helen arrived home and we contacted June again to see if they were still at the hospital.
They were,so we picked up Alan and surprisingly the weather had suddenly become calm and clear as we drove to Wellington Hospital’s A&E department.
On arrival I explained to the receptionist that we were here to see our sister whom had just passed away.
She and two others offered their condolences and then opened the sliding door and told us to go to Cubicle B2.
Kirsten was outside and greeted us with hugs.
A light blue flannelette curtain separated the cubicle and the A&E work areas.
We parted this and looked into the shadowy cubicle where we spotted Connie straight away lying there as if asleep.
June stood at the right of the bed and told me slowly and quietly what had eventuated.
Alan moved beyond us and closer to Connie touching her and saying how serene she appeared. Connie was very attractive in her younger days and Alan thought she had reverted to this state.
Kirsten stood at the foot of the bed always the one to keep your spirits up and Nigel was standing quietly and respectfully behind her in the deep shadow.
Keith opened the curtain a fraction and moved into the crowded space but the one that took my eye most was May who was sitting at the left hand bedside gently stroking Connie as if to console her.
It is moments like these that live in your mind forever and one has the mental flashback of the years that have flown past.
Mavis the matriarch,I remember, always looked after and cared for Connie probably from the day of her birth and here she was still close and caring in her nineties at Connie’s demise.
Mavis the strict martinet but now showing her heart of true compassion.
June of course the person of real concern and care of Connie’s sudden reversals of condition.
God placed her there because He knew that she was the best person to tend to her in her final days.
Still she stood straight after the weeks of worry and homecare…and knowing there was more to be done.
I often think that the stress and pain of things is so hard on the caregiver that June’s waves of compassion could be felt..but it was this compassion that gave her the strength to give the necessary aid and care and on behalf of the family June we thank you for this.
I reflected on Connie’s life and the singular word ‘WORK’ just kept on flashing in my mind.
At work or at home she was always on the go.
She was fundamentally a very shy person.
I cannot forget the morning of one of my birthdays at Newtown where she alone came to my room and quietly pressed a present into my hands. She was the only one I think..and I was deeply touched.
You have heard from Nigel of Connie’s places of education which included South Wellington and Wellington Technical College where the pleats of her ironed skirts were razor sharp….her blouse so white and neat.
The way she dressed clearly defined her pristine character.
After Tech the Zenith Fruit was waiting in Manners Street and from day one until we closed she was a trusted mainstay of the business, sometimes tired and frustrated but always loyal and giving her all.
I always wondered how she managed to get her greens so crisp and tasty while cooking in that little kitchen of ours.
So she showed me how and I have been doing it the same way since for my vegetables.
When the Zenith closed Connie was scooped up by Peter Chong the well known fruiterers G Chong of Karori.[ And I hesitate now with sorrow to advise that Peter passed away on the same day as Connie..]
I don’t think she bothered to have a break but it was a quick jump from one fruit shop to another.
And after Chong’s closure she was to work at Sprott House where she walked to and from every day coming home in the dark of night.
Indeed even in inclement weather she would still do the long steep walk.
I really thought that she would outlast the lot of us with this kind of dogged energy.
In the final two weeks of her life she was still concerned about completing her tax papers and although very weak wanted to get up to put the cover over her beloved Cortina car.
She simply had depleted her energy so she could not do this.
On her last day June was helping her into the ambulance and said ‘This cancer is really getting to you isn’t it..??’
She replied weakly and quietly the greatest untruth of her life ‘ I’m just lazy..’
Connie had an extremely strong constitution. Even when her blood sugar level had dropped where most would be in a coma she was sitting up in her hospital bed asking what was on the dinner menu.
She did not even think she was sick as she was not suffering any pain.
But yesterday surrounded by Shirley, June and Kirsten , Connie simply turned in her bed as if to find a more comfortable position and went into her long ….restful….eternal sleep.
Her lifetime of work had come to a very peaceful end.
God pity any slothful person in heaven with Connie there… God be merciful on our sister…and may God bless you all here today.
Thank you for listening.
Stan Chun
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